I think it’s hilarious when people joke about runners or weight lifters as being sane or mentally stable. My sister and I were joking about our mental health the other day (as sisters do) and she said, “You run, people who run are stable.”
I find it funny because we are some of the most insane, unstable people out there. Think about what runners do. Some of them wake up at the ass crack of dawn, crawl out of their warm, cozy beds, get dressed and go outside, in whatever temperatures, and run for miles. For fun. Nothing is chasing them. Is that not insane? Or think about weight lifters or crossfit fanatics; they enjoy pushing their body to its absolute physical limits. They will lift and push and pull until they collapse, until their skin feels like it’s been wrung out like a wet towel.
And you would think our survival tactics would kick in and they would think, “You know, that was damn near impossible and I almost died so maybe I won’t do that again.” But NOPE. The next day or later that week, they are back.
Some people say that you can be addicted to it, addicted to the feeling of working out, the endorphins, the adrenaline rush. While I think that’s definitely the case for some people, if I think about me personally, I’m not a very addictive person. I don’t think that theory applies to me. At the end of the work day, I go out for a run to suppress the blinding rage I feel at the end of the day. I run to exhaust myself, because I literally sat at a fucking computer for at least eight hours that day. I need to run to feel something, to feel alive, to feel pain. Isn’t that a little twisted?
Also, have you ever heard athletes talk about working out while injured, or sick, or pregnant? They could be like, “I broke my ankle a few weeks ago so I’ve just been here doing upper body.” I’m sorry sir, why the hell are you in a gym with a broken ankle? Or runners? Runners will literally itch until they can run again.
I ran a marathon last year on a Sunday, and by Wednesday, I couldn’t fucking wait to go run again, that’s all I wanted to do, all I could think about. I waited a week just to say that I actually rested but I was itching. I would actually get angry when I saw other people running. It’s the same feeling I used to get when I was inside a classroom on a beautiful day, looking out of the window and seeing other people walking or running around. I just wanted to be free.
You think I’m stable because I workout consistently? I have a consistent workout routine because I am balls to the wall insane. I would be insufferable and chubby, which would make me more insufferable. We are miswired. We workout because our lives depend on it but not literally, we are not out here hunting and gathering. I don’t need thick thighs to carry food and water down a mountain. I just need to stay sane, to stay gathered, to not snap at every living thing that crosses my path. I lift weights to feel something, to feel alive, to feel pain.
