My boyfriend has two kids and they are with us every other week. Usually, he picks them up on Friday nights and they leave the following Friday. This past week, his daughter had a soccer game and then wanted to attend the school’s football game. Usual teenage stuff.
My boyfriend and his ex wife were talking and trying to figure out the logistics of when he would be picking them up if they went to the game. Usual divorced parent stuff. At one point his ex wife expressed her frustration at how last minute it all was. They were having this conversation around 4pm, which is late in the day to be figuring all this out.
I share her frustration. That is one of the biggest adjustments that I have had to make since dating my current boyfriend and having his kids in my life. Plans change on a dime, and oh my goodness do I hate that. I am a planner.
I pride myself in being able to change things last minute and switch things up but with kids involved, it feels like it’s all the time. Things pop up, school assignments or sports events or social gatherings. You could have a full grasp on the day and then they surprise you with the fact that they have somewhere to be or their friends are getting together and they want to go to.
I often find myself getting incredibly frustrated but then I try to think about what my schedule like at that age. Do you remember when your life was all last minute? You would go to school and then maybe you had some sort of sports practice or club and right when the practice ends, you find out about some party or that some of your friends are meeting up in a little bit just to hang out. I mean it was probably more like loitering but it was so much fun.
I get jealous of it sometimes, and feel nostalgic. I miss when things were more spontaneous and when you didn’t have to plan too far in advance. You didn’t have to do time math to see exactly what hour you could squeeze in a trip to the grocery store or get your workout done for the day. Do you know how many calendars I have now? I have three, three fucking calendars. One for work, one personal and one that I share with my friends for social activities. Sometimes they overlap but sometimes they don’t. It’s insane.
I miss those last minute days and as frustrated I might get with them now, I try to let his kids enjoy them as much as possible. Maybe one day they will miss them too but be grateful that they got to experience them. As everyone should.
