Finding the right therapist feels a lot like dating. It’s kind of a daunting task. You have to find someone who you can share everything with, who you respect and are open to hearing their feedback, and who can guide you through things. But it might take kissing a few frogs before you find your prince…or therapist…you know what I mean.
It just seems exhausting to ever start. And what if, like when you start dating someone, you see them maybe two or three times and you’re just not feeling it. Then you have to break up with them, or ghost them, and then start over. And then god forbid you get even deeper into it. Maybe a few months or longer and there are little red flags here and there but you just ignore them because now you have a rapport, a history. They know you. So you settle.
It feels like a therapist isn’t something you should just “settle” on but it also sounds like a lot of work to find someone new and then start from the beginning again. I only want to rehash my family history so many times. In fact I have spent years perfecting the art of keeping most of those memories suppressed, thank you very much. I don’t want to go through the process of sharing it all, just to find out the person isn’t for me and then having to start over. Sounds emotionally and mentally draining. Almost as emotionally and mentally draining as keeping everything suppressed. So it seems I have to decide on the lesser of two evils.
I guess the one thing is, there is the potential of a positive outcome if I go to a therapist. They might be great and help tremendously, where as there really isn’t room for improvement if I keep everything buried deep down in my emotional cavity. It’s just what I know, what I’m most comfortable with. Though I am usually the first person to preach about how you need to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. The discomfort is when things happen, when you improve, when you build. Both physically and mentally.
Obviously when I say physically I don’t mean like torture or abuse, I mean like from a fitness or muscle building perspective. I feel like that’s important to say. Am I the only one who would think that way? Jesus, maybe I do need help.
