Love is so interesting, isn’t it? One minute you could be completely, utterly obsessed with someone and then some time passes and you can’t even look at them. I’m not just talking about romantic relationships either, I’m talking about friendships.
Can you think of a friendship where you just wanted to spend every waking minute with that person and then as you grow up, as time goes on, you find yourselves drifting apart? It can be bittersweet, thinking of all the amazing times you had together, being sad that it’s over but also understanding that it happens, it’s part of life. Though it can be difficult to remember that in the moment, sometimes in the moment it’s just painful.
You can be so close with someone and then the little things they do that annoy you or bother you start to add up. Maybe they are really self centered. Maybe they gossip a lot (we all gossip don’t get me wrong but they start to cross the line into being mean). Maybe they are really difficult to make plans with or you feel like you can’t really be yourself around them.
These feelings of frustration and resentment start to creep up and take over your mind. You can’t even enjoy the things you love about them because you are just fed up with the parts you don’t like. You come to a crossroads. Can you still love this person despite their flaws? Do they love you unconditionally despite your flaws? Or is the best thing for both of you to love each other from afar. To agree that you want to keep the love there between you, whether it’s in the past or not and just realize parting ways is the healthiest thing.
Sometimes it seems impossible to break away, especially when this person has been a part of your life for a long time. Each year that passes you get more and more entrenched in each other’s lives. Sometimes it feels like friendships last exclusively just to tell people that you have been friends for ten, twenty, thirty plus years. Because that’s impressive! With all the ebbs and flows and chaos of life, it’s a feat to remain in any sort of relationship for a long time.
My sister is currently experiencing this with one of her friends. What helps me in these situations is to think of the friend like family. I have a few friends that I can count on one hand, who to me, are family. Meaning I am in it for life, almost like I have no choice, that’s how much I love them. I will continue to forgive them for their flaws and hope they will do the same for me.
Of course that might change, but it’s good to check in with yourself every once in a while and see what your heart is telling you. I know that sounds painfully cheesy but it’s what you should do with almost everything in your life, your relationships, your career, your hobbies, etc. Life is too short, and it’s not worth spending too much time on something that isn’t bringing you immense joy or at least a decent paycheck. Though that is always easier said than done.
