I am subscribed to a weekly newsletter through James Clear, author of Atomic Habits. It usually comes on Thursdays and he calls it 3-2-1 Thursdays. In it he includes 3 ideas from him, 2 quotes from other people, and 1 question for the reader to consider for the week.
I really look forward to the emails. Some of the quotes are excellent (I’m a sucker for a good quote) and the questions help me reset and reconsider my priorities and if I’m being the most productive with my time.
This week, the email included a quote that I have read before but have since forgotten about. It felt especially relevant since I’m at a bit of a crossroad in life.
The quote is from The Bell Jar written by Sylvia Plath. It provides the perspective that choosing a path usually means ignoring the rest of the options, but not choosing means you might lose them all.
“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”
Clear has sent out a few similar ideas and quotes about deciding which path to go down. I find myself incredibly stuck right now in choosing a path. It’s all too common to worry too much and get caught up in wondering if I’m making the right decision. I could easily see myself becoming so entrenched in trying to make a choice that I freeze up and end up watching my opportunities wither away.
Maybe we can’t have all the figs, but do we get to choose a few? I am bouncing between three different paths right now, giving a little bit of my attention and time to each. Can I do it all or will some paths suffer because my attention is split?
Which brings me to the next question, if I should only choose one, how do I choose? How do I whittle it down to just one and have the confidence that I am making a good decision?
I don’t want to believe that we have to choose just one, I’d like to think that we can have a few different “areas” of life. Sure you might have to focus on one more than the others at times but life is shifting constantly, our focus shifts constantly. However, I do agree that to really do something well, you need to pay attention and not have one foot already in another project.
I find myself losing sleep over trying to calculate exactly the “right” next move. Knowing what I know so far about life, maybe I should just flip a coin.
